Today was my one-year follow-up appointment with Dr. G and Ashton. Boy, have things changed. First, let me report my weight according to them: 191.4. So I gained about 5 lbs since April or so. Yeah, that's about right.
Number 2 change is that Ashton is 8 months pregnant! I didn't even realize in March that she was pregnant. She's having a boy and his name is Henry. :)
Change number 3: Dr. G is moving back to Pennsylvania and his last day at Baptist is August 14. That makes me sad. I liked Dr. G. He was straightforward, honest, modern. He said his family's situation never worked out for them to move to FL. Not sure what all that is about, but he looked pretty sad. Ashton is pretty sad too. They haven't found a replacement for him yet, so Dr. Jeffrey Lord is the only game in town and at Sacred Heart.
Well, my appointment went better than I expected. Dr. G offered phentermine again (I was hoping he would) to control my appetite. I just EAT, EAT, EAT all the time and I'm not getting my water in and I'm not monitoring my protein like I should be. Basically I'm not paying attention.
You have to have FOUR things to be a success with weight loss:
- PROTEIN
- WATER
- VITAMINS
- EXERCISE
I let myself have an inch and took a mile, as they say.
So now I have to "get back to basics" -- start having protein shakes again for breakfast, eating more fruits/veggies/greens, focusing back on the "protein first" philosophy, and concentrating on getting my water in. Boy, can I tell if I haven't had enough water. It's the stressful (or boring) days at work when I have 2-3 Starbucks coffees and neglect my water because I'm drowning myself in coffee. Because it tastes good. Because it makes me happy. Water is not that happy. But you know what doesn't make me happy is the headaches I get from being dehydrated. The weary/tired/weak feeling I get from not having enough protein.
I also skimp on my vitamins. When I take them, I take them all, but when I skip them, I skip the entire day. I probably don't take my vitamins on most days, but that is going to change. I am going to start dividing up my meds again so that taking them at night (and during the day) will be a cinch.
I'm also going to start getting some walks in -- by myself with some music or whatever it takes..... and hell, maybe I'll even start using those wrist and ankle weights I spent $50 on around Christmastime that I have never opened.
I bet that if I do all these things more often than not, I will easily lose the rest of my weight by January 1, 2016. I want to lose AT LEAST 20 more pounds and then see how I feel then. Right now, though, I am going to set my first goal to be 5 lbs -- to get to the low 180s (naked) and then into the 170s. I know I can do this if I just refocus myself and recommit to what I signed up for.
I'm letting myself get away with too much and it has taken a toll on how I feel about myself. And that is why even when people that haven't seen me for a while see me and comment on my weight loss, I feel completely guilty because I feel like in some way I haven't earned my success because I'm cheating right now -- even though I worked hard leading up to surgery and in the many months afterwards, I was a "good girl" and now I'm not, I feel as if I haven't earned what I've accomplished so far, but really that's not the case and I need to stop thinking that way.
If anyone is out there and actually reads these things, thank you for your support and I hope I have helped inspire SOMEONE, anyone! I do apologize for going 3 1/2 months since my last post, but honestly, I was feeling pretty crappy about the behaviors I have adapted in recent months that lead my to this "Plateau of Plateaus" when it is really a slow gain LOL..... Well, I'm starting my phentermine tomorrow and I am going to be SIP, SIP, SIPPING my water all damn weekend and doing the very best I possibly can to get back on track. Dare I say I may bring my workout bag to work next week?
No comments:
Post a Comment