A Year From Now

I wish I could peek into my future -- a year from today -- and see what life will be like 5-6 months after surgery.

It seems every day I find myself thinking, "I can't wait until I'm skinnier"....and I daydream about how much different, how much better I'll feel and how much easier it will be to get dressed, to work out, to be me.

Every day after work, and on most recent weekends, I have been so so lazy, almost lethargic -- just no energy to do anything other than sleep or sit on the couch and watch TV. I am hoping once I get healthier that I will have a lot more energy after work and on the weekend.

In a year from now -- 12/29/2014 -- I hope to be below 200 lbs...so a loss of around 40 lbs would be amazing. I remember what it felt like to be about 200 and although that is still 50 lbs overweight, I felt great!

I make lists in my head about what won't fit anymore when I lose all my weight. I'll have to get my rings sized down, all of my beautiful shoes may not fit anymore, all of my clothes will be too baggy to look right at all. I'll have to buy new bras and panties (darn!), and I will be more comfortable in airplane seats. I have read that my hair may fall out some, so I have some biotin coming in the mail to start now. Hey I don't mind if my hair gets longer!

Doctor Appointment!

My appointment with Dr. Gatmaitan is set for the same day as my 2nd nutritional appointment on 1/10/2014. I'm excited! During this appointment I will be talking with the doctor about the various surgeries and then decide which one I want. I'd like to learn more about the sleeve as opposed to gastric bypass. When I spoke to Amber about being qualified for insurance to cover the surgery, she said that although they do look at a 3 year history, they look at the whole picture vs. one (lower) weight. Also, she mentioned that the doctor would fight for me in the sense that he can/will provide the insurance company with his recommendation for surgery for me and why.

I guess I am still worried that I will be turned down. Especially because I distributed all the cash in my savings account to 10 different accounts and paid them off. :)

I'm struggling a bit with my "goals" -- I ate breakfast more than I normally do this week but I haven't walked at all yet. And I have had lots of soda. Hmmm. Maybe next week will be better?

Breakfast, Paperwork, and $26K

Today was the first day working on my goals. I ate breakfast: yogurt, granola, strawberries, blueberries a little honey, raisins, craisins, slivered almonds, and a teeny bit of brown sugar. Later I had a banana and lunch was a salad I ate 60% of. We had an ice cream social today and boy, I didn't hold back. Ice cream is a weakness. For dinner I had buffalo chicken dip with scoops tortilla chips, then a Jello pudding for a snack later. Didn't walk today but I should have -- it was a beautiful evening. I did spend a lot of time watching TV while I filled out the paperwork that Baptist sent me -- it's lengthy! I am 100% sure that I will be referred for a sleep study -- I'm sure I have sleep apnea, but I really don't want to wear one of those CPAP machines like Rich. I just see them as being so uncomfortable. It was my best friend Michelle's idea to buy an outfit I will wear somewhere down the road. I was thinking of what I'd want to wear and I really love the idea of a semi-form fitting work dress with high boots, a scarf...size 12 preferably. :) I'm not sure I'm ready to buy it yet -- and certainly not from online -- I really want to SEE it in person and know it is meant for me. I'm afraid to buy anymore shoes at this point (although I have a pair coming in the mail as I type) because I heard my shoe size may change. Boo! Hiss! I have dozens of shoes and would be very sad if I couldn't wear most of them. But oh well! I am so tempted to pay off debt with the $26K sitting in my savings account. I am doing a lot of "what if" thinking and what if I don't get approved for surgery? Then I won't have the money to pay for it on my own if I send it to different loans and creditors now. But then if I go ahead and pay down a shitload of debt, I will look a lot better to NFCU in 6 months if I have to apply for a $26K loan, right? Rich thinks that amount for a signature loan is steep with my salary, but why would they have just given me $12,500 if they didn't think I could pay the loan? And to be honest, that new loan will be really stretching me. I think I'm talking myself into it, but hating to lose my "safety net". I've NEVER had that much money sitting in my savings!

Nutritionist Consult #1

Today was my official first consult with Ashton. Before I met with her, though, Jennifer the Nurse got my weight, height, and BP. My "official" BMI is 41.

Of course that number is horrible, but I am THRILLED that I am over 40 because then I should qualify for surgery without a comorbidity (even though I have one - high BP controlled by meds).

Ashton the Nutritionist met with me next. We talked about which surgery I thought I might want and about my current eating habits and exercise routine.

She wanted to know what a typical day would be like for my meals and what level of activity I have. She answered some questions I had and then we came up with a few goals to work on until the next time I see her on 01/10/2014. Here are my goals:

1. Eat breakfast every day
2. Walk 30 minutes at least 3 times a week
3. Decrease soda to 1 can per day
4. Keep a food journal for 5-7 days

I think these are realistic goals and I am glad she didn't suggest losing a certain amount of weight -- I think that may happen naturally though.

At the check out desk as I was making my next appointment, Dr. Gatlaitan walked by and said I looked familiar -- I'm glad he remembered me from the Meet the Doctor session last week!

I think I may go to another session or two in the coming months as well. Lastly, because I want to completely embarrass myself (I sure hope no one I know finds this blog!), I am including my before photos at 241 lbs (according to nurse, but I am really about 233 without clothing!)...

Blog name background

I wanted a snazzy blog title and asked my husband what I should call it. His first answer: "My Weight Loss Journey".......GAH! How B-O-R-I-N-G! I was thinking of something like "Health over Hardee's" except I don't eat at Hardee's. Aaaaand....I couldn't think of a bad food that starts with "H"......

Husband threw out a 2nd suggestion -- Less Cookie, More Nookie. I asked him to explain himself. He says, "If you weigh less, you'll have more energy for more nookie!"

And so it was born.

Exploring surgery

My journey officially began Tuesday, November 26th when I attended the monthly "Meet the Doctor" session at Baptist Hospital. Rich came with me and it was definitely informative! After hearing about both surgeries, I am leaning towards gastric bypass for the expected results and least amount of possible complications.

Step two is happening Monday, December 2nd -- my first consultation with the nutritionist, Ashton. I will have to go 5 more times and have a psych evaluation before being scheduled for surgery...which will hopefully be scheduled sometime in June. Since Monday will be my "official" weight and height I am "bulking up" this weekend LOL.

I qualify already with my current weight and height and co-morbidity, but honestly, I'd like to "seal the deal" with insurance paying by having a BMI of 40 or more.

Before I started this blog, I was gathering the money to pay for it myself -- now I do have $26,300 in my savings account that is going to sit there until I am officially approved for surgery and the insurance will pay for it.

I am BEYOND thrilled about what life will be like once I start losing and once I get closer and closer to my goal weight of 145. Shopping will be fun again! Alisha has been a great supporter and friend since she has gone through it herself. I have been watching videos on YouTube of people that have gone through it -- it is always interesting to hear it from actual patients. Can't wait to learn more during the next six months in preparation for surgery.